2 baby pictures

We were lucky enough to get to see our baby twice in one day! Last week's gummi bear grew into a baby blob. Scroll down and see the growth in just the past 3 weeks...its amazing! We had our weekly appointment with the fertility specialist and I started my prenatal visits with my OB. The pics were taken at 7weeks 5days, despite the dates the pics say. Both doctors are still going by my last period to date the pregnancy, but thanks to the wonderful world of medicine, I am roughly 4-5 days ahead of that timeline. The baby has measured exactly a week ahead with each passing visit, so its growing exactly as it should be! At my first appointment, the heart rate measured 144bpm. We had enough time to grab some breakfast between appointments, and by my second ultrasound, the heart rate was up to 157bpm! Its still so incredible to watch that flicker on the screen and know that means our baby is thriving. I know I've voiced my love for my weekly appointments, but we found out that I will continue those up until 10 weeks. Depending on which dates they go by, that gives me 2-3 more ultrasounds. The nurse said next time we might even be able to start seeing arm and leg buds...I can't wait for that baby blob to start looking like a tiny human! My OB is going to see me again December 7, which will put me about 12weeks 3 days. At that time we will do an NT (neural tube) screening. That involves bloodwork and an ultrasound. This extra testing was doctor recommended after we reminded them that spina bifida runs in Cooter's family. It was the NT screening during the last pregnancy that we found out that our baby's heart had stopped beating at about 9 weeks. I was 8weeks yesterday, which means I am officially past my first pregnancy (which ended at 7w6d), and if I can make it one more week, we will have passed up the last pregnancy. I don't let myself get too excited yet...I just can't. I did frame our ultrasound pic and look at it about 2493 times a day. I've been sick enough to remind myself daily that I am indeed pregnant. Nothing terrible, just feel tired and weak and the nausea comes and goes about 4-5 times a day. Every time I want to hurl, I look at the baby and I gladly feel sick to know he/she is growing! Keep praying!

photo update

There have been such few pictures of us lately, as the Maxwell family blog seems to have become a pregnancy journal. Thought you all might be curious as to what we look like these days... Here we are at a wedding October 23. We are so seldom dressed up together and with such beautiful backgrounds behind us. We were on Inks Lake in Burnet, TX. Cooter was a groomsman in the wedding, which explains the orange tie below. Excuse the beard...from Cooter's dad's birthday (Sept. 26) thru opening weekend of deer season (this weekend), Cooter and his dad sport a beard. I coined the time table..."beard season." By the way...I am 6 weeks preggo in the pic.





Here's some photo updates of our fur babies. With the passing of each baby, we have inadvertently adopted another animal. Grayce is now 4 and a half, Laila is almost 16 months, and Alice (Allie) is a little over 9 months old. Allie wandered up to our house back in July and her and Laila instantly became best friends.

Grace

Laila

Best Friends

Meet Allie

one beautiful baby

Look how much our little baby has grown already! 6 weeks, 5 days old in the picture. It went from a little rice-looking thing last week to a gummi bear! That's what the nurse called it...she said, "what a beautiful little gummi bear!" Not that its even that big yet...last week it was the size of an orange seed, this week its about the size of a nail head...and by next week it will be a blueberry! For the record, there is only one baby! We would've been thrilled with twins, but the chances of complications are a lot less with a singleton pregnancy. Almost immediately, we saw the baby's heart beating. I almost forgot that we might be able to see the heartbeat this time...I was so excited to see that the baby had grown! This is the second time I've seen one of our baby's hearts beating...and wow, it just brings tears to your eyes every time. What a miracle! This baby was just made almost 7 weeks ago, and it already has a beating heart. The heart rate was 119 beats per minute. They even recorded the heartbeat on a video for us...although I can't get the mac to play it...but I will persevere and beat the computer! According to What to Expect (the baby bible), in the 6th week, the heart should be beating around 80bpm and growing faster every day. So I am thrilled with 119. That's actually already faster than the other baby's heart rate was at 7 weeks, 1 day with the last pregnancy. I just love our fertility nurses...she just sat there and let us awe in the moment as we watched the baby's heart beating. I barely got to see it at the OB's office last time. They are so busy there, you are in and out of ultrasounds. I am holding on to each moment we get to see the baby, and thankful to have been given such amazing resources.

The baby is still measuring right on time. We are now going by the baby's measurements to date the pregnancy since the little guy's growth has been consistent a couple weeks in a row. So that makes me 7 weeks tomorrow, still due June 18. With each passing week, I find myself getting more excited about the pregnancy. i feel so vulnerable, especially after the way we lost the last baby. We get to see the baby twice next week...my fertility doctor still wants to see me once a week and I will have my first prenatal appointment with my OB, which means bloodwork and another ultrasound! I'll take it!

one or two?!?

One or two?!? We still don't know yet! What we do know is that we can see one baby nice and clear so far! Going into the ultrasound, my nurse warned us that being early, we wouldn't see much. She said what they were looking for was the number of gestational or amniotic sacs (the large black circles). If we were lucky we'd be able to see a yolk sac (which will later be incorporated into the baby's digestive tract) and possibly the baby. We were able to see one gestational sac right away and the nurse said, "hi baby!" She zoomed in on it and we were able to see a yolk sac and the baby. In the ultrasound pic, the baby resembles the bright white piece of rice and if you see the white circular area around the baby, that's the yolk sac. So far, so good! Everything we MIGHT see, we saw! The baby has implanted right in the center of my uterus, which is a good thing as well. The baby measured 5 weeks, 5 days...which matches up exactly with the first day we tried. The computer calculates my pregnancy based on when my hormone shot was given, which made me 5 weeks , 3 days. The nurse said this early, as long as the pregnancy and the baby's measurements are within a couple of days, they are happy. My estimated due date is June 18!

One baby or two? While the nurse was scanning my uterus for gestational sacs, she noticed a suspicious spot just about the other baby. Its too hard to see in the ultrasound pic (that pic is zoomed in to see more detail), but on the screen there was another black circular area. it wasn't clear like the baby we could see, but it was defined enough for the nurse to draw attention to. Why would we be able to see one baby and not another? The baby doesn't implant in the uterus until about 2 weeks after conception. If the babies implanted on different days, it could have made a difference in the ultrasound. We know I had two eggs released during ovulation. There are multiple possibilities at this point. Both eggs could have released on different days, even though I took only one hormone shot. Also, we were told to try on two separate days, so its possible that the eggs were fertilized on different days, causing them to implant differently. Either way, we will hopefully know how many when we go back on Thursday this week. I haven't had any more bloodwork done since my early levels were on the high side. We might be able to see a heartbeat at this week's appointment too! I have an appointment with my ob/gyn November 4, at which time I'll be almost 8 weeks and we'll have another ultrasound done then...yay! After losing the last two babies, I LOVE being able to keep tabs on this baby (or babies).

We also found out that my ovaries are very swollen right now. The injections I took last month stimulated my ovaries so we could control ovulation. I ended up releasing an egg from each ovary. My high levels of estrogen have not allowed my ovaries to return to their normal size. Right now, they are bigger than my uterus. I had been feeling a lot of lower abdominal pressure (uncomfortable, but not painful). It wasn't cramping or anything that caused me worry. In fact, I thought it was gas pains. Turns out, as my bladder fills up (quite frequently these days), it puts pressure on my ovaries, which is why I am feeling so uncomfortable. My ovaries, bladder and growing uterus are all sharing the same space right now. The nurse didn't act like it was anything for concern, but she did take measurements of one ovary. It was about 58mm (when I ovulated, each was 18-20mm to put that into perspective). Unfortunately, it will take a while for the swelling to go down. Rising levels are so important to my pregnancy, but cause adverse effects on other parts of my body. So for now, I deal with the swelling belly!

Cooter is so proud and excited. We went to a wedding this past weekend and he told anyone and everyone he talked to that I was pregnant. He told most people it was twins too! He secretly wants twins...we lost two, he thinks that would be amazing to get two babies back. We'll see very soon... I'm still so very cautious, but I want to be excited. I have been exhausted lately and for the past 5 days or so I've been feeling so nauseated. I have no appetite, so its hard to want to eat. If I don't eat, I feel sick. When I do eat, I still feel sick for a couple hours. The progesterone I take and what my body makes on top of that causes my food to digest slowly, which leaves me with the full sick feeling in my gut. I end up with about 3-4 hours in the late afternoon/evening that I feel great. It makes me feel very fortunate to not be getting up for work at 3:45am right now. I'm about 6 weeks, 3 days or 6 weeks, 1 day depending which calculation we use. I can't wait for Thursday!

going up...

Well, its been a week of worries, wows and wazoos! Ok, I don't know what a wazoo is, but it sounded fun. Nothing big to worry about...its just always a part of me. It always will be until I have a baby in my arms! Despite the worries, lots of wows to share. So last report I found out that my levels had been climbing nicely so far. I went back last Wednesday for my usual blood draw and war wound, wait for a phone call with results. That day at lunch, I almost choked on my chicken...my levels went from 280 on Monday to 784 on Wednesday! WOW! If you remember, hormone levels should double every 30-48 hours in the first several weeks of pregnancy. Mine were just shy of tripling in 48 hours! Super pumped! So, my appointment Friday was bypassed, seeing as I had already almost reached Friday's expected count and an ultrasound is tentatively scheduled for next Friday. I returned Monday for the same thing. My counts as of Monday were 3,443! I know that seems high, but if you double my numbers every 48 hours, that is right on target. I am on the higher side of the spectrum, but it is a very wide spectrum. My ultrasound is moved up to tomorrow (Thursday). So anxious! I am not nervous as I've been with all previous prenatal ultrasounds. We found out during the first ultrasound that we lost the first baby last July, then the second ultrasound showed we lost the second baby back in March. If anything, I know that the baby is doing well so far based on my hormone levels. I actually like having so many appointments. It really gives me peace of mind knowing every couple of days that the baby is okay. We will hopefully find out tomorrow if there is one baby or two. I'm excited to find that out. I'm still a bit worried that its very early for an ultrasound, but I have to remind myself that my doctors and nurses have gotten me this far, and I need to trust them. I have no idea how to calculate my pregnancy either. Most estimated due dates are calculated based on your last period. If I consider that, then I am only 5 weeks today. My injections caused me to ovulate a week early so if we go from that point in time, I am closer to 6 weeks. Measuring the baby during an early ultrasound can also give me and estimated due date. So much to find out! I counted ahead...if we can make it past Thanksgiving, then I will have past the point that we lost the last baby. Thanksgiving doesn't seem so far away when I think of it that way. Praying every chance we get that this baby is growing and thriving. Updates from the ultrasound soon...

thinking POSITIVE

So we graced the doctor's office with our presence at 8am this past Friday morning for the much awaited pregnancy blood test. The first thing the nurse asked me was if I had taken a home pregnancy test yet. I told her I was too scared. I was also worried it was too early, seeing as I would not be due to start another cycle for a week or so. Blood drawn, we left the office, another cotton ball and band-aid accessorizing my outfit. We would receive a phone call with results as soon as possible. Oh how slow time can move!

Cooter began pacing WAY too much for my anxiety level when we got home, so he went off to work to pretend to be busy and hopefully pass the time. He told me before he went to work that if I wasn't pregnant, he was going to be really mad at his swimmers. I had to laugh a little. Most men don't hold anger against their sperm. In my attempt to stay busy I folded 3 loads of laundry, changed sheets on my bed, washed and cut up a week's worth of fruit, boiled and peeled 15 eggs (I was making deviled eggs for a meeting that night), and managed to catch up on Grey's Anatomy from the night before. Its amazing how productive you can be when you have time to kill! In the midst of my cleaning and cooking spree, I decided to go pee on the one stick left in the medicine cabinet. At this point, I had been awake for almost 4 hours and had already downed several bottles of water. I coached myself to not feel disappointment if it was negative. It wasn't the perfect circumstance to be taking a test, and I reminded myself that it was still quite early. We were already mentally preparing ourselves to deal with that anyway. The test at first glance looked negative, but in the light I noticed a faint cross line. That just brought on more confusion than anything. Suddenly it felt like they would never call with my results. I argued with myself...if there is even the faintest of a line, that means your body is still producing enough hcg to cause the test to react, right? Then I was convinced I was seeing things. I wanted to see it so badly that I was beginning to imagine tiny blue lines. So I did the next best thing...I took a picture with my phone and sent it to Cooter for further examination. His immediate response was that it looked positive to me. I still didn't want false hope. At that point I was actually frustrated that I even took the test in the first place. The aftermath of it all makes me laugh now.

Finally at 10:45 (I was pretty sure those 2 hours and 45 minutes were close to being an eternity), the nurse called. The first words out of her mouth were, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" My blood test was positive!!! I have no idea how far along I am. Calculating an estimated due date the old fashioned way versus my dates with the meds gives me a week or so difference. For now, I return every 2-3 days for blood work to make sure my levels are rising properly.

I went back today and when my nurse called with results, she was very happy. She said everything looks great so far. I will not have any ultrasounds for a couple of weeks because its just too early to see anything yet. My hcg levels should be doubling every 30-48 hours. On Friday, it was 46...today it was 280!!! That puts me somewhere around 4-5 weeks preggo. I go back Wednesday and probably Friday for the same blood work.

To all of my prayer warriors...keep those prayers coming! You all have supported us this far, now we just need this baby to grow, grow, grow! I don't think my nerves will ever be completely calmed. I still haven't let it completely sink in that I'm pregnant. My brain is protecting my heart. I think its understandable though. One day at a time, one prayer at a time...and lord willing, this baby will be in our arms sometime around June!

monthly update

Sometimes they say no news is good news...but for us, no news meant we were still in the process of waiting. Thanks to being abruptly cut off of my injections last month, my body took a beating. For the two weeks following, I experienced a lot of cramping and swelling as my body tried to naturally take care of business. I had at least 6 follicles that measured 16mm or more, and ovaries just aren't made to expand like that! My swelling got so bad for a few days that I couldn't even button pants because my gut was so tender. I actually gave in and took half a vicodin a few nights just to help me sleep...and I wouldn't normally do that. I was so uncomfortable. The injections wreaked havoc on my monthly cycle as well. We patiently counted down the days until my next cycle, which of course, came and went with no signs or symptoms. The start of my next cycle meant we could start meds again.

Some people are reading the last couple of entries thinking, why the hell would you want to do that to yourself again?!? Injections=baby...enough said. I hear all the time, "Oh, I could never do that." Several of our friends shudder at the thought of giving themselves a shot. Then again, none of them have been trying to have a baby for 17 months, and lost 2 along the way. I've really found what I'm made of the past few months. I am far stronger than I ever realized.

Back to the update... Finally, after 48 days, my cycle started. I was beginning to think I was broken! Funny, most women would begin to think they were pregnant by then...not that I didn't take a precautionary pregnancy test, but I was very doubtful of the results, just needed to get it out of my mind. Cooter came home so excited that day. The thought of a husband being overjoyed about his wife's menstrual cycle was amusing to me. Most men dread that time of the month! We see beyond the bitchy days and complaints of cramps and bloating and the fact that there's never enough chocolate in the house for those few days. To us, this was our chance to try again.

I went to the doctor the next day, where they did the routine baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. That is so normal to us now. Cooter and I actually know and understand what we see during the ultrasound. We know what they are measuring and what numbers are considered normal now...as we were incredibly abnormal the month before. We know what the counts mean when they call me with blood results. Its really been quite the educational experience! We were given the go ahead to start injections the next day, September 17. They cut my dose in half this time, which actually made my shots more bearable. I had far less side effects this time. Its still uncomfortable, but completely different. Major prayers were answered financially as well...since we technically had a failed round of injections, Houston Fertility Institute was not going to charge us for this round. We pay 100% out of pocket for this treatment. Also, thanks to the lowered doses of meds, I had enough leftover from last cycle so we didn't have to buy more medication! Since I am not working right now, that was such huge stress removed from the situation.

We returned Monday, Wednesday and Friday the following week for bloodwork and ultrasounds. WIth each visit, we got more nervous as we watched the follicles growing. Especially the visit on Wednesday...that was the same time frame that we got shut down last time. If we could make it past that, there wasn't really a point of return. So we prayed, prayed, prayed for those little eggs to be growing and the rest of the guys to take it easy. Wednesday's visit proved to be good...although we had one little guy that was already approaching 18mm. 18-20mm is considered mature and there is a small window for those follicles to be usable. If we let it go too long, we're in the same boat as conceiving naturally...a post mature egg. Friday's visit was good...we had 2 follicles measuring 19mm...prime suspects! There was another about 14, but the odds of that one catching up weren't great. Typically they want us to have 3-4 eggs to try to conceive a baby, maybe twins. We know that having only 2 mature follicles lowers our odds, but the doctors were so much more comfortable with this situation...as were we. So, I got to stop injections that day. I had completed 8 shots at that point. That night I gave myself an HCG shot (hormone that actually triggers my body into ovulation). We were told when to try and now we're back to waiting. I started progesterone supplements last night and will continue on them for the next 9 days. As of right now, the progesterone is a precaution. The elevated levels of progesterone will help sustain a pregnancy in the early stages. My estrogen count the day of my hormone shot was pretty high, which all plays into me getting and staying pregnant. I have a blood test scheduled for next Friday, October 8. That's the pregnancy test. Tell me that won't be one of the longest days of my life! That's technically a week before my cycle is due to start, but they know what they are doing. I suppose that gives time for subsequent blood tests in the days following if that one should be negative. We are very nervous...but we have done everything the doctor told us to, when they told us to, and how they told us to. My results up to now have been wonderful.

Now its in God's hands...