monthly update

Sometimes they say no news is good news...but for us, no news meant we were still in the process of waiting. Thanks to being abruptly cut off of my injections last month, my body took a beating. For the two weeks following, I experienced a lot of cramping and swelling as my body tried to naturally take care of business. I had at least 6 follicles that measured 16mm or more, and ovaries just aren't made to expand like that! My swelling got so bad for a few days that I couldn't even button pants because my gut was so tender. I actually gave in and took half a vicodin a few nights just to help me sleep...and I wouldn't normally do that. I was so uncomfortable. The injections wreaked havoc on my monthly cycle as well. We patiently counted down the days until my next cycle, which of course, came and went with no signs or symptoms. The start of my next cycle meant we could start meds again.

Some people are reading the last couple of entries thinking, why the hell would you want to do that to yourself again?!? Injections=baby...enough said. I hear all the time, "Oh, I could never do that." Several of our friends shudder at the thought of giving themselves a shot. Then again, none of them have been trying to have a baby for 17 months, and lost 2 along the way. I've really found what I'm made of the past few months. I am far stronger than I ever realized.

Back to the update... Finally, after 48 days, my cycle started. I was beginning to think I was broken! Funny, most women would begin to think they were pregnant by then...not that I didn't take a precautionary pregnancy test, but I was very doubtful of the results, just needed to get it out of my mind. Cooter came home so excited that day. The thought of a husband being overjoyed about his wife's menstrual cycle was amusing to me. Most men dread that time of the month! We see beyond the bitchy days and complaints of cramps and bloating and the fact that there's never enough chocolate in the house for those few days. To us, this was our chance to try again.

I went to the doctor the next day, where they did the routine baseline bloodwork and ultrasound. That is so normal to us now. Cooter and I actually know and understand what we see during the ultrasound. We know what they are measuring and what numbers are considered normal now...as we were incredibly abnormal the month before. We know what the counts mean when they call me with blood results. Its really been quite the educational experience! We were given the go ahead to start injections the next day, September 17. They cut my dose in half this time, which actually made my shots more bearable. I had far less side effects this time. Its still uncomfortable, but completely different. Major prayers were answered financially as well...since we technically had a failed round of injections, Houston Fertility Institute was not going to charge us for this round. We pay 100% out of pocket for this treatment. Also, thanks to the lowered doses of meds, I had enough leftover from last cycle so we didn't have to buy more medication! Since I am not working right now, that was such huge stress removed from the situation.

We returned Monday, Wednesday and Friday the following week for bloodwork and ultrasounds. WIth each visit, we got more nervous as we watched the follicles growing. Especially the visit on Wednesday...that was the same time frame that we got shut down last time. If we could make it past that, there wasn't really a point of return. So we prayed, prayed, prayed for those little eggs to be growing and the rest of the guys to take it easy. Wednesday's visit proved to be good...although we had one little guy that was already approaching 18mm. 18-20mm is considered mature and there is a small window for those follicles to be usable. If we let it go too long, we're in the same boat as conceiving naturally...a post mature egg. Friday's visit was good...we had 2 follicles measuring 19mm...prime suspects! There was another about 14, but the odds of that one catching up weren't great. Typically they want us to have 3-4 eggs to try to conceive a baby, maybe twins. We know that having only 2 mature follicles lowers our odds, but the doctors were so much more comfortable with this situation...as were we. So, I got to stop injections that day. I had completed 8 shots at that point. That night I gave myself an HCG shot (hormone that actually triggers my body into ovulation). We were told when to try and now we're back to waiting. I started progesterone supplements last night and will continue on them for the next 9 days. As of right now, the progesterone is a precaution. The elevated levels of progesterone will help sustain a pregnancy in the early stages. My estrogen count the day of my hormone shot was pretty high, which all plays into me getting and staying pregnant. I have a blood test scheduled for next Friday, October 8. That's the pregnancy test. Tell me that won't be one of the longest days of my life! That's technically a week before my cycle is due to start, but they know what they are doing. I suppose that gives time for subsequent blood tests in the days following if that one should be negative. We are very nervous...but we have done everything the doctor told us to, when they told us to, and how they told us to. My results up to now have been wonderful.

Now its in God's hands...

stopped in our tracks...

The past week I have been enduring the ups and downs associated with self-injectible drugs. Once you get past the thought of sticking yourself with a needle, it becomes relatively routine. I made the mistake the night of the first injection of staying up late and on my feet for quite some time. I came home cramped, nauseated and in pain. I wasn't worried, however, as all of the aforementioned are considered COMMON symptoms. I vowed to take life a little easier the next couple of weeks and try my best to wind down and rest post injection. We went back to the doctor on Wednesday, which meant we had been on the meds for 4 days. My uterine wall was thickening nicely...in fact, we could already see 3 layers (which is perfect!). They measured as many of the follicles as they could see via ultrasound.

A little background...follicles start off the cycle around 6mm on average. Some are even smaller, and won't fully develop in time for ovulation, but still contribute to pregnancy. A mature follicle (ready for release of eggs...ovulation) measures 18-21mm.

They measured one big follicle on my right side...4 days into meds, it was already 15mm! I had 1-2 smaller ones on that side as well...nothing worth mentioning. My left side is another story. When she moved the wand over to the left, a little village of black dots appeared (that's what the follicles look like on the screen). Cooter gasped...as he sees each follicle as a potential baby, although it doesn't necessarily mean that. They measured one at 14mm, one at 12mm, 9mm, and there were several smaller ones around. Those smaller follicles are good to have around because, even though they won't mature before ovulation (or in my case, the hcg hormone shot), they still release hormones, which will help support a pregnancy. If you remember correctly, sustaining a pregnancy is my problem, so the tech was quite happy with those results. As far as the big follicles go, they wanted to see 3-4 mature before giving me my hormone shot. The nurse said she wouldn't be surprised if I was given that shot on Friday, but they would let me know depending on my bloodwork. Later that day, they called and said my estrogen levels were perfect for the size of my follicles, and they wanted to see me back on Friday to measure growth again...a very good sign!

So we went back today...a little nervous, but overall excited. Since my follicles have matured rather rapidly (the last measurements were taken 4 days into meds...they want me to be on them at least 7-10 days), we were hoping that no more follicles had grown past the point of allowing us to move on to the next step. We let the doctor know that selective reduction was not an option for us, and if possible, we didn't want to be put in that position. After speaking with the nurse, we agreed that a twin pregnancy is as risky as we are willing to go for the health of me and the babies. During measurements today, the right side was already at 20mm (only 2 days later), so it was ready to roll. I had a few supporting follicles as well, nothing to worry about. When we saw the left side, even the nurse said, "Whoa!" Almost all of the follicles we had seen on Wednesday had grown...that is exactly what we did NOT want to happen. I had one at 18mm, one at 16mm, and others that ranged from 6mm to 12mm. Having only been on the meds for 6 days, we knew we were starting to walk a thin line. Staying on the meds much longer could cause way too many eggs to be released, and we could possibly cause the few follicles ready to become post-mature. We still left today thinking that we'd be told to do my hormone shot today or tomorrow, based on bloodwork. Excited emotions started running much higher now...

I had been anxiously awaiting the call from the office all day. When I answered, it was my doctor (who usually does not make the follow-up calls). He said everything looked very good, my body was responding to the injections well, so we know it works. Problem is, it works a little too well. He knows we are worried about multiples (over 2). Based on what he saw today from the ultrasound pics, he does not feel comfortable letting me continue with treatment this month. I would need to stay on meds for another 24-48 hours and he is concerned that too many follicles will have time to mature by then, and once we began ovulation we would have way too many eggs. He doesn't want to put us in a position to go against what we want and does not want to jeopardize my health. So we wait...again. Next month, we'll start injections on a very low dose and go from there. Its all a guessing game and putting pieces of a puzzle together. I just pray for answers soon. I was devastated to know that my body did so well all week, and then just feel like we hit a brick wall. Its not like I can't get pregnant. Its not like the medication failed. We have been SO close to making this work. I know its only one month, but to us, its been 15 months and counting. Each set back gets harder. Patience is definitely a virtue. Cooter is bringing home ice cream for us...

Stick with it!

We have waited all summer, but it is finally time to start injections today! Who knew I'd be excited about sticking myself with a needle?!? Oh what a baby will do to your mind! We went to the doctor yesterday and were given the go ahead to begin. I had bloodwork and an ultrasound to get a baseline for the month. They measured a couple follicles from each ovary so we can track the growth in the weeks to follow. If you remember from a previous post, one month I had six active follicles...which fertility speaking, is a very good thing. Yesterday I had NINE! Will they ALL release an egg...no, but it ups my chance of having 3-4 eggs released. Sound crazy, you ask?!? By no means are we trying to have triplets or quadruplets. Every egg released is not always fertilized, or a woman would get pregnant on the first try every time. The odds of all 3-4 eggs becoming babies is like 5%. So, technically there is still a risk, but its a risk willing to be taken...at least at this point. Their reasoning behind wanting that many eggs released is to have more targets to hit. Talk like its a hunting game and Cooter suddenly becomes an investigator. He is beyond worried that I will get pregnant with a litter. His exact wording was..."How do we make sure that she's not going to be delivering babies in a box under the stairs?" LOL.

The meds I will be injecting can be adjusted as needed. I go back in on Wednesday and again on Friday for more ultrasounds and bloodwork. They will measure my follicles again to see the effects of the meds. Too much growth, or too many follicles being stimulated, and I will dial down the injection. I will have approximately 10 days of injections. At the end of that time, they will do one last ultrasound to see how many follicles they believe will release eggs. If it's more than 3-4, we stop there and wait until next month. I PRAY that does not happen. Not only do we have to find the patience within ourselves to keep waiting (its already been almost 15 months), but we start over financially too (not that money will make or break this deal, but its kind of a necessity to keep this operation going!).

I'm excited, anxious, nervous... We need your prayers again. We pray that this medication does the work my body needs. We pray for a healthy opportunity to be able to try for a baby. We pray for a successful try. We will know in less than a month if this worked or not. We pray for patience and understanding no matter what happens in the next 30 days.

Pampered Chef National Conference 2010...and some aha's in life...

Two posts in a month...WOW!

I don't know if it is my motivating return from Pampered Chef's National Conference or just changes in life finally settling in...but I suddenly felt a warm feeling inside me, feeling blessed with the people I have in my life right now, and proud of the way we are living life.

You saying hmmmmm yet?!? So I was sitting here this morning lurking on facebook, looking at old friend's photos, etc. instead of cleaning my bathroom. We're all guilty of such distractions...don't lie! I think most of us have a group of friends from our past that weren't always the best company for you. You may or may not still touch base with them from time to time. Maybe you partied a little too hard for a while, or found yourself living a whole new life with these people. Catching up with such friends or looking through pics lets you relive that life vicariously for a few minutes. Maybe you miss that old lifestyle, maybe you don't... I certainly don't. I am proud of the turns I have taken the past few years in life, so thankful for the people I have come to know, and the decisions I have made. The photos and the people will remain anonymous... My point is, I don't miss the life I HAD...I embrace the one I HAVE.

Off of my soapbox now... So, I just got back from Chicago! I absolutely loved it there...I was quite impressed! I had a wonderful opportunity to travel with my team to attend Pampered Chef's National Conference. This was a huge step for me. Traveling to a new city with people I hardly knew (minus Jen), but I am SO glad I went! I learned new ideas for cooking shows, strategies for working with customers, and wonderful ways to share the business with others. Most of all, I brought back self-confidence. I came home more motivated than ever and believing in myself. I watched fellow teammates and my executive director Jen walk across the stage in front of thousands of people for their accomplishments over the past year. I can't wait to be on that stage! When we made the decision for me to resign from teaching for a while, Pampered Chef became more than just something on the side. Its my full time job now...and I love it! I realized as well, that its not about the money either...although my latest WHY is to make the suburban payment every month (how cool would that be?!?). It is all about believing in myself. I don't know how, but I've been lucky enough to be recognized the last 3 team meetings for my sales accomplishments (which, in my opinion have not been great lately...). That's SO motivating though...and I can and WILL do better! =)

A great friend told me the other night...surround yourself with positive people and positive experiences. Life is all about being told NO and how you deal with it...but that just makes the YES soooo much better!

busy life, belated updates...

So much to do, so little time to do it...

I am thoroughly enjoying my summer so far! It seems like I bounce from one project to the next and I will not be satisfied until they are all done. I made a list of projects this morning (including a much needed blog update) to focus my energy and give me something to cross off the list...there's just something fulfilling about being able to complete a task and mark it off your list! I'm a dork, but hey, whatever works, right? Ooooo just thought of another thing to add to the list while I'm sitting here. If my head would quit spinning long enough, maybe I'd actually finish something...LOL. Is it possible to nest while you're planning a pregnancy?!?

Lots of changes have happened in the last 3 months for our family. Last update, we were still grieving the loss of our 2nd baby. At that point, I was looking ahead to days of possible fertility treatments, but at the same time, really wasn't sure I was ready to face all those risks, thoughts, and fears in the face. About mid April we had our first consultation with the fertility doctor. We were warned going into treatments that most fertility doctors will not consider recurrent miscarriage until you have had three in a row. My OB left this choice up to us and provided a referral. During our first meeting, the doctor said one miscarriage is too many and that was music to our ears!

The process started with a massive 14 vile blood draw from me (called a miscarriage panel, to determine if there was anything lacking in my system that could have caused the loss of the babies) and one blood draw for Cooter (to determine if anything chromosomal in his blood work clashed with mine). Results from bloodwork took 3-5 weeks to get back...so began the process of waiting. Over the next month, we had bloodwork and ultrasounds done every week as they monitored my cycle. They tested everything imaginable, trying to be more proactive before we needed to be reactive. Throughout the month, everything looked picture perfect. My follicles were active and healthy, my uterine lining (where the baby would attach) continued to have a good thickness each week. Still searching for problems...

It brought on quite confusing reactions for us. We leave the office each week relieved that I'm reproductively healthy, but without the closure and answers we so desperately needed. On one hand, we don't want anything to be wrong with me, but at the same time, if something is wrong, and it is fixable, we are that much closer to having a baby of our own. Lots of prayers every day for guidance, acceptance, and understanding of what was going on and what could possibly be.

The week I should have been ovulating the doctor did a saline ultrasound. They inject a saline dye into your uterus to be able to see the release of the egg, which starts ovulation. Its really kind of neat to see everything on the ultrasound...we are now unusually familiar with the inside of my body! At that time, the doctor said he thought I might have already ovulated, which would mean I was getting pregnant on an egg that wasn't fully developed yet. Bloodwork would tell the answers...so I went off to work and waited. My kids at school got so used to me coming an hour late once a week with a cotton ball and band-aid stuck to my arm. That day, bloodwork showed unusually low levels of HCG (pregnancy hormone...all women have a surge of the HCG hormone when they release an egg each month...the hormone levels increasingly raise when you conceive). This indicated that opposite of what the doctor thought...I had NOT ovulated yet. I went in every 2 days for the next week while we waited for my egg to release.

It appears that I ovulate about a week late. What does that mean?!? Basically, the egg is ripe and perfect for fertilization about 12-14 days into a cycle. I wasn't releasing that egg until about day 21, which means the egg is post-mature. It is still able to be fertilized, but chances are very good that it will never grow and develop like it should. Answers...like pieces of a puzzle all coming together. Within that same week, we received the results of the massive blood draw from weeks earlier. All of my counts looked perfect, as did Cooter's. I showed a slight mutation for my body's ability to absorb folic acid, but I was also told that is very common even amongst mothers that have healthy babies. The result...everything is treatable!!!

We also found out during all of the ultrasounds that I have at least 6 active follicles. Follicles release your eggs. Usually they alternate sides each month. I have at least 3 per side. Its a good thing though, fertility wise. It means I have lots of options, I am full of eggs! LOL. That also means that we are at a higher risk of having twins...

We were given three options:
1. Try again...let nature take its course. Yes, there is a chance we could go on to have a healthy baby. When almost all fertility tests point to post ovulation as my issue, the chances of my cycle suddenly changing on its own are very slim.
2. Clomid. Clomid is a drug designed to tell your body to release an egg on time. It is a very common fertility drug and I hear lots of success stories. The doctor gave us about an 8% chance of the clomid working the first time (plus factor in our high fertility rate). It costs about $800 a cycle (insurance does not cover the drugs). The only negative side effect is that some clomid users experience a thinning in the uterine wall due to the medication. That reduces the baby's chance of sticking. My doctor said he was hesitant to prescribe Clomid to us due to the previous miscarriages, but its still an option.
3. Injections, More specifically, an injectable called Follistim, combined with Ovidrel to release my egg on time. I would give myself injections over a period of time until we were told to try. The doctor gave us a 30-40% chance of it working the first time (plus our fertility rate). It costs double, about $1600 a cycle. No negative side effects.

We chose injections.

With any fertility drugs, our risk of multiples goes up. We were at risk of having twins anyway... Since the medication tells your body when to release an egg (so that I will release on time), there is a risk of too many eggs being released. We cannot control how many follicles are stimulated, so if multiple eggs are released, we could get pregnant with more than one baby. My doctor will not send us down the road to having our own TLC show or anything. Before giving us the OK to try, they do an ultrasound to see how many eggs are being released. That doesn't necessarily mean they will all be fertilized, but you have to plan that way just in case. We will take two, but aren't willing to risk more than that!

We went home and starting weighing our options and when we wanted to start. Cooter was ready immediately. This was the end of May. I was seeing light at the end of the school year tunnel. I was in charge of the field trip, field day was coming up, awards ceremonies, and the last day of school. I just couldn't afford to be off work every two days to be monitored while on medication. Not when I knew I'd have all summer off in a matter of weeks. Cooter got upset with me for choosing work over family. Here was my take on the situation. All of you teachers will understand what a stressful time the end of the year is. You are very busy getting report cards ready, keeping the kids active and busy when you have no more textbooks, are running out of supplies and copies, and are trying to pack up your room for the summer...plus my daily drive through Houston. I said why add that stress to an already delicate situation when we can wait a month and remove those risk factors? So we settled on starting injections in June.

One thing I wanted to do before I was pregnant, was float the river one more time. If you're from Texas, you know you can't beat a cold river on a sweltering hot day. I wanted to be able to have carefree fun without thinking ahead. Next summer, god willing, we will have a tiny infant and for years to come vacations will never be the same...fun and special in their own way, but definitely not the same. We'll either have kids in tow, or will be having to make plans for them to stay somewhere while we were gone. This was our last hoorah. And boy it was! I don't think I have ever had so much fun camping. We have become unbelievable close with our neighbors and we are so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Blogger has outsmarted me and the imac today, so I will have to post pics from the trip at another time. Sorry!

One thing life has taught us recently, or forced us to learn...is patience. Trying, pregnancy, fertility tests and treatments, all come with lots and lots of waiting for the right time. We were really hoping to start injections late June this month. It all depended on my cycle starting. Unfortunately, due to our busy July, we had a small window to have all of this work so we could still do treatments, go on vacation with Cooter's family and still send me to Chicago for Pampered Chef's national conference. As luck would have it, our window came and went. Stressing about it didn't help much either... Following a D&C, cycles can and will be off schedule for a while. Sure is frustrating though! So, although all of the medication was delivered last week and its quietly waiting in my fridge, we made the decision to wait until my next cycle to start injections now. There is just too much going on, too much planned and paid for to miss out on over the next two weeks. During the 2 weeks I am on injections, I am relatively home-bound. I need them daily, they must be kept cold and I will be doing follow-up bloodwork and ultrasounds every 2-3 days during the process, so traveling is really out of the question then. It makes me really sad to have to keep waiting, but its been 14 months since we first got pregnant, so at this point one more month won't break us.

A major decision we recently made was for me to resign from my job teaching. I am still in shock of the whole situation. When I was due in September, we had plans for me to stay home with the baby...especially considering that I could no longer wake up at 3:45am, drive 80 miles a day and take care of a baby simultaneously...nor would anyone hire me for a teaching job knowing I wouldn't be able to teach the first part of the school year. As of right now, if injections work on the first round, we wouldn't be due until May. I hate the idea of living on one income. Its already stressing me out, and I still receive paychecks through August. I like our comfortable living situation. The decision was made so I could focus on the health of myself and the pregnancy when we get down that road again. I'm high risk due to the miscarriages anyway, but if we were to add multiples to that, working wouldn't really be an option anyway. I am just going to do my Pampered Chef full time now. Which means I need to schedule some shows!!! Cooking shows allow me to work from home and I do a handful of shows a month. Its going to remove me from the stress of teaching a TAKS grade, sitting in traffic daily, and will allow me to focus on growing a baby (or babies). It is a new and scary road to me, but we can make it work...

sharp turns on the road of life...

I had so many wonderful things to post. I was waiting for a momentous reason to begin this post...a new picture of our baby. I wanted to show how much the baby had grown and pass along all of the wonderful stats associated with our pregnancy as we ended the first trimester.

I wanted to post my overwhelming joy at being chosen as Teacher of the Year for my school.

I wanted to send warm wishes to my mom, who received good news following her annual mammogram.

I wanted to congratulate my brother on passing all of his tests and making it through the past 6 months on his journey to become a police officer.

I wanted to share my excitement of becoming a Pampered Chef consultant...a business venture full of promise to help finance me becoming a stay-at-home mom in September.

We want a lot of out life.......and now........



My head spins. I can't figure out how to organize the tornado that blows through my mind...

Seventeen days ago, we went to the doctor for a routine prenatal check-up and ultrasound...the last one of the first trimester. We were scheduled to do genetic testing that day, upon our request because of spinal defects that run in Cooter's family. I was 11 weeks along and up to that point, had a picture-perfect pregnancy going on (if you can define anything in the first trimester as perfect...because you certainly don't FEEL that way!). Warning us that the ultrasound would take a little longer this time due to testing, I was alarmed when the tech suddenly wrapped it all up in just a few minutes time. During the ultrasound, I noticed her measuring the baby's length repeatedly and each time the screen indicated 9w0d. Shortly after, she left us alone in the room. I immediately looked at Cooter and told him something wasn't right. He went pale. Next thing I knew, they were ushering us into the doctor's office instead of going back to the exam room as we'd been previously told. I actually hadn't met this doctor yet. The nurse practitioner was present for the 8wk appointment and at 12wks (11wks for me) I would begin meeting with the OB. She opened the file and said that they couldn't locate the baby's heartbeat, and at this gestational time, we should have a heartbeat. I immediately wanted to argue with her. I said, "NO, we HAD a heartbeat at 7wks...the risk of losing the baby was so low now...what happened?" At that point I looked over at Cooter and watched his heart breaking. HIs head was down while he tried to regain composure. I realized then that I had to swallow my hysteria and maintain focus. I didn't want them to see me cry. I was able to get through the conversation enough to schedule a D&C two days later. In a five minute span of time, our lives completely fell apart and changed course...just like that.

I apologize for the disarray of my thoughts. Its hard to mentally outline what's left of the wreckage.

Monday, March 1 was our doctor's appointment. Nicole came over to hang out with us. It was a wonderful distraction and kept me from falling into that dark place of blame. I found myself more frustrated, confused, and angry (at who, I don't know). I didn't feel any different, I didn't look any different...nothing made sense to me.

Tuesday, March 2, Cooter and I both had pre-op appointments.

Wednesday, March 3, Cooter had knee surgery. Cooter's mom, Tricia came to keep me company while he was in surgery and stayed with us a few days. Everything went very well and he was back home by early afternoon. I had a huge Pampered Chef delivery that afternoon and busied myself in organizing all of the orders sitting in my dining room. I cooked dinner and dessert that night as well. Never having had any type of surgical procedure, it was best to keep my head full that day. I still wasn't ready to deal with what was to come tomorrow.

Thursday, March 4, I had my D&C. Mom came to take me to the hospital, and Cooter and Tricia joined her. Cooter got to come keep me company all through my pre-op, IV start, etc. and stayed with me until they wheeled me into the OR. My surgery went exactly to plan and I was home by that afternoon. Two prescriptions of Vicodin were filled at Walgreens in two days for us. Mom was joking that they would be watching us now.

The next week went on as if nothing had ever happened. Cooter was up and walking the day after surgery and was back at work Monday. However for me, going back to work was mentally and emotionally draining. I didn't realize how badly I still hurt inside until I had 2 hours a day to sit in the car all alone and let my head wander. Turns out, I am my own worst enemy. I have to think about it though, how can I not? That baby was part of my life for 3 months. I couldn't just pretend it never happened. Sitting at work, attempting to teach 17 kids was just not the time to deal. I have good days where I focus on the future. Good days where I know that our babies are angels up in heaven. They will never know pain and suffering in this world. Then, I have my bad days, where nothing seems to console me. I just need to be sad.

Today was a great day until I went to my post-op appointment. I've physically been great since surgery, so now on to the next step. I was given an information booklet and a doctor referral to the Houston Fertility Institute. I've had trouble dealing with that all day. Medically, recurrent miscarriages are usually defined as three in a row. Our doctor left it up to us to decide if we wanted to see a specialist. Emotionally, do we want to risk another miscarriage?...absolutely not! Now that the decision is upon me, I'm scared to death. We do not have an infertility problem. We can get pregnant, we just have to figure out how to stay that way. I'm so worried that more doctors and more tests will just add undue stress to an already tense situation. It was recommended that we not begin trying again until we meet with these new doctors. I just don't know why I am not wanting to grasp that...

Bottom line...there are not words to describe our appreciation for the support we've received from our friends and family. The cards, the food, the visits at the house...we couldn't have done it alone. We chose to tell the world about our expectant bundle of joy so early for that reason. No matter what the outcome, we chose to have the support of our loved ones. Please continue to pray for our strength and guidance as we journey down this new road of life. Allow us to be accepting of God's will, no matter what that may be...

blood results are EXCELLENT!

Happy Valentine's Day! Yesterday, 2/13 was a bittersweet day for us. That was our due date for baby #1. Being given the opportunity to be pregnant again made us count our blessings yet again. We realize God has a plan for us and everything happens for a reason. Although it is much easier to accept now than it was then.

I got a phone call Tuesday with the results of the first round of blood work done 2/1/2010. I was starting to get a little worried that I hadn't heard anything, but no news is also good news. That meant there wasn't something serious enough to contact me immediately. We went through almost 6 weeks of that with the last pregnancy. I lost count of how many viles of blood were piled up next to me that day, but its all worth it. I was cleared of any diseases (rubella, etc.) and do not have toxoplasmosis, which was a slight concern since I do have a cat. Cooter has sacrificed his hate for Grace and has been cleaning the litter box out for me. I cannot express how much I appreciate not having to me the baby in danger messing with kitty poop. Most importantly, my progesterone level (pregnancy hormone) was 31 which the nurse said was "EXCELLENT." That was music to my ears! I started doing a little research and chatting online with other preggo peeps, and the consensus was that anything over 20 is good. I'll take anything pregnancy related that is excellent!

We go back March 1. The baby has officially graduated from being an embryo and is now entering fetus-hood!