stopped in our tracks...

The past week I have been enduring the ups and downs associated with self-injectible drugs. Once you get past the thought of sticking yourself with a needle, it becomes relatively routine. I made the mistake the night of the first injection of staying up late and on my feet for quite some time. I came home cramped, nauseated and in pain. I wasn't worried, however, as all of the aforementioned are considered COMMON symptoms. I vowed to take life a little easier the next couple of weeks and try my best to wind down and rest post injection. We went back to the doctor on Wednesday, which meant we had been on the meds for 4 days. My uterine wall was thickening nicely...in fact, we could already see 3 layers (which is perfect!). They measured as many of the follicles as they could see via ultrasound.

A little background...follicles start off the cycle around 6mm on average. Some are even smaller, and won't fully develop in time for ovulation, but still contribute to pregnancy. A mature follicle (ready for release of eggs...ovulation) measures 18-21mm.

They measured one big follicle on my right side...4 days into meds, it was already 15mm! I had 1-2 smaller ones on that side as well...nothing worth mentioning. My left side is another story. When she moved the wand over to the left, a little village of black dots appeared (that's what the follicles look like on the screen). Cooter gasped...as he sees each follicle as a potential baby, although it doesn't necessarily mean that. They measured one at 14mm, one at 12mm, 9mm, and there were several smaller ones around. Those smaller follicles are good to have around because, even though they won't mature before ovulation (or in my case, the hcg hormone shot), they still release hormones, which will help support a pregnancy. If you remember correctly, sustaining a pregnancy is my problem, so the tech was quite happy with those results. As far as the big follicles go, they wanted to see 3-4 mature before giving me my hormone shot. The nurse said she wouldn't be surprised if I was given that shot on Friday, but they would let me know depending on my bloodwork. Later that day, they called and said my estrogen levels were perfect for the size of my follicles, and they wanted to see me back on Friday to measure growth again...a very good sign!

So we went back today...a little nervous, but overall excited. Since my follicles have matured rather rapidly (the last measurements were taken 4 days into meds...they want me to be on them at least 7-10 days), we were hoping that no more follicles had grown past the point of allowing us to move on to the next step. We let the doctor know that selective reduction was not an option for us, and if possible, we didn't want to be put in that position. After speaking with the nurse, we agreed that a twin pregnancy is as risky as we are willing to go for the health of me and the babies. During measurements today, the right side was already at 20mm (only 2 days later), so it was ready to roll. I had a few supporting follicles as well, nothing to worry about. When we saw the left side, even the nurse said, "Whoa!" Almost all of the follicles we had seen on Wednesday had grown...that is exactly what we did NOT want to happen. I had one at 18mm, one at 16mm, and others that ranged from 6mm to 12mm. Having only been on the meds for 6 days, we knew we were starting to walk a thin line. Staying on the meds much longer could cause way too many eggs to be released, and we could possibly cause the few follicles ready to become post-mature. We still left today thinking that we'd be told to do my hormone shot today or tomorrow, based on bloodwork. Excited emotions started running much higher now...

I had been anxiously awaiting the call from the office all day. When I answered, it was my doctor (who usually does not make the follow-up calls). He said everything looked very good, my body was responding to the injections well, so we know it works. Problem is, it works a little too well. He knows we are worried about multiples (over 2). Based on what he saw today from the ultrasound pics, he does not feel comfortable letting me continue with treatment this month. I would need to stay on meds for another 24-48 hours and he is concerned that too many follicles will have time to mature by then, and once we began ovulation we would have way too many eggs. He doesn't want to put us in a position to go against what we want and does not want to jeopardize my health. So we wait...again. Next month, we'll start injections on a very low dose and go from there. Its all a guessing game and putting pieces of a puzzle together. I just pray for answers soon. I was devastated to know that my body did so well all week, and then just feel like we hit a brick wall. Its not like I can't get pregnant. Its not like the medication failed. We have been SO close to making this work. I know its only one month, but to us, its been 15 months and counting. Each set back gets harder. Patience is definitely a virtue. Cooter is bringing home ice cream for us...