Vulnerable

As a mother I find my sense of vulnerability to be extreme.  Its a very unsettling feeling, as I would do anything, literally anything, to protect my baby.

When Ty was about 3.5 months old, my mom and I were on a shopping trip to Baby's R Us to buy Jeremy and Nicole's baby shower gifts.  It was dusk, and we were just starting to lose the light of the day. She watched me as I climbed into the back of the suburban to get Ty out of the middle of the back seat.  I choose to keep him in the middle because that is the safest place for him.  Less convenient to get him in and out of the vehicle, yes, but worth it.  As she watched, I had my back to the world, concentrating on getting my son out of his carseat.  So vulnerable.  Not only was I completely distracted with getting him out of the car, but I also then strapped on the Baby Bjorn and got him settled right there in the parking lot. It honestly never crossed my mind how wide open I left myself.  My guard was down, my focus was all on Ty.  Of course this all happened in a matter of minutes, but that's all it takes, as my mom pointed out.  Very eye opening.

After that experience, I tried to be more aware of my surroundings.  I've always been careful of where I leave my belongings when I'm getting Ty in and out of the car.  Why advertise by leaving it out in the open?  I do realize that if someone wants something of yours, it can forcibly be taken quite easily.  Cooter has always wanted me to carry a pistol in my car, or some mace at the least, but I just don't know how I would ever have the time to use either if put in a dangerous situation while my hands are full with a baby.  I would NEVER feel safe handling a gun with my son in my arms.  Life or death, okay maybe I'd figure it out, but again, its not like I'd have the gun strapped to my hip.  I've since tried to change my actions.  I started climbing in the backseat and closing the door to get Ty in and out of the car.  Small change, and I know someone can still be watching me, but I felt like my risk was smaller than leaving the door wide open with my back to the world.

Shortly after my mom pointed out my constant vulnerability, I saw on the news that several women were robbed in Pearland while getting their children situated in their vehicle.  Its a given that a busy mom is a distracted mom.  It seriously sickens me to think of those that prey on mothers for that reason.  Absolutely makes me ill.  I hate that I live in fear because of others' demons.  My extreme sense of vulnerability is ever present in my head.  Especially in situations that cause me to be out in the open with little/no protection...walking through a parking lot, loading groceries into my car, pumping gas, etc.  All I can do is stay alert, protect myself, and pray that my son and I will be safe.

I am very sorry if I cause a sense of insecurity in any of my mommy friends.  I'd rather you be aware than become a victim.  I hate that any of us have to life with a sense of vulnerability at all.  It shouldn't be that way...

All of this is stirred up in my head thanks to the recent abduction of that 3 day old baby in The Woodlands.  I couldn't stop thinking about that horrendous ordeal, and my heart just aches for that father.  The world can be such an evil place sometimes.  You can't dwell on it, you'll go crazy.  Just makes you want to hug your babies a little tighter.  I just cannot fathom.  But I'd take a bullet for my son in a heartbeat.  Momma bears mean business.

double digits

Wow, we have a TEN month old!  I know I say this often, but I am constantly thanking God for choosing me to be Ty's momma.  We are so blessed with this growing little boy!

Over the last month, Ty has perfected his crawl and is setting new speed records every day.  I crawled behind him the other day, pretending to chase him, and I was amazed how fast he is now!  By the way, rolling is just not on his to-do list anymore.  Rolling is for babies.

Ty has been able to pull up on his own since he was about 6 months old.  He's had many limitations around here though, keeping him from practicing that skill.  Poor baby has been too short to reach anything to pull up on.  As soon as he could do it in his crib, we lowered it.  Sorry dude.  What seemed like overnight, Ty can now reach just about everything less than 3ft high.  You name it, the couch, coffee table, glider, bar stools, chairs, etc...if he can reach it, he will be standing!  That also means several of my Scentsy plug-ins have met their demise via Tyler before I could save them.  For a while he would get stuck standing.  After taking several spills to the face, he soon became scared to let go once he was up.  The past couple of days have brought great bravery and he is now strong enough to squat back down.  Oh that squat is so stinking cute too...little fat legs.

The biggest achievement of all this month...Ty has taken his first steps!!!...assisted, of course, but nonetheless, on his own!  He has a walking toy that up until recently, he would just sit in front of to play with.  He's been able to take steps holding our hands for a long time now.  He's got the one-foot-in front-of-the-other thing down.  I've tried for quite some time to help him walk behind that toy, but he would panic and lock his knees in protest.  The fear of falling was just too much for him to handle.  With each upcoming milestone, people always tell me, he'll do it when he's ready.  Sure enough, I stood him up behind that toy and there he went!  He crashed into Laila first, took some time to pet her, and then took off..slowly!  He's since gotten much faster, but still prefers to crawl.  Soon enough crawling will be a thing of the past...


STILL NO TEETH!  I check daily, but I don't feel anything different in his gums.  Not that I really know what I'm looking for either...  His drool is of normal stature and he could take or leave teething toys.  Everything goes in his mouth, but that's a given part of Ty's day.  As my nursing days dwindle, I try to enjoy the few minutes of selfish time I get with my sweet boy.  Before long he'll be too busy to want to snuggle with momma and nurse.  Sippy cups are all the rage!  He does drink water regularly from his sippy and he's quite good with it.  He has to be closely monitored with his cup though because one of his favorite things to do is play in the water...whether that's water coming out of his cup, Laila's bowl, in the tub...you name it.  Not that I mind the frequent outfits changes, but I think I do enough laundry for now.

We are still eating purees for the most part, but moving on with finger foods.  We've tried chunky purees, but those just make him gag.  I think it confuses him.  When he is spoon fed, he expects something he can swallow.  When there's chunks in that type of food, he gags as it makes its way down.  Maybe he forgets to chew?  He handles chunks of food sans puree just fine though.  So I feed him three meals a day in puree form to make sure he's getting enough of what he needs right now.  Purees are so easy to measure.  When I eat lunch and dinner, I often give him pieces of what we're eating.  He loves to pick up veggies like green beans, carrots, peas and broccoli.  I even cut up some chicken and macaroni and cheese the other night and he did just fine with those.  He may be toothless, but he can sure eat!  Ty just had strawberries for the first time, which he loved...and I steamed some asparagus for him to try tonight.  I love that he's eating so healthy right now.  Makes us eat well too!

Ty just loves our walks and visits to the park!  We go as often as we can.  He loves to be outside.  He is such a content baby when we're out and about.  Unbelievably thankful for this!

Ty's birthday is coming so fast.  I'm planning away for his party and starting to buy stuff a little at a time.  My favorite item...his customized Very Hungry Caterpillar t-shirt.  It has it name on it and the #1.    Can't wait to see how cute he'll look in it!  As of right now we're planning for June 9...mark your calendars!  That's about all for now.  Little man is grunting in his crib, which means my momma time is up!

Bluebonnets!

For the last 3 years I have been trying to get pictures in the bluebonnets!  After all, we can be in fields of majestic blue within a half hour and, somehow every spring the bluebonnets come and go and I miss yet another photo op.  We didn't miss out this year!  Cooter, Ty and I went with our friends Patrick and Alaina, and their son Brayden to make some memories.  Ty wasn't his stellar camera ham, but we still managed to get some great shots.  Bluebonnets are my favorite!!!

 

Of course we had to snag some family shots too!