We have waited all summer, but it is finally time to start injections today! Who knew I'd be excited about sticking myself with a needle?!? Oh what a baby will do to your mind! We went to the doctor yesterday and were given the go ahead to begin. I had bloodwork and an ultrasound to get a baseline for the month. They measured a couple follicles from each ovary so we can track the growth in the weeks to follow. If you remember from a previous post, one month I had six active follicles...which fertility speaking, is a very good thing. Yesterday I had NINE! Will they ALL release an egg...no, but it ups my chance of having 3-4 eggs released. Sound crazy, you ask?!? By no means are we trying to have triplets or quadruplets. Every egg released is not always fertilized, or a woman would get pregnant on the first try every time. The odds of all 3-4 eggs becoming babies is like 5%. So, technically there is still a risk, but its a risk willing to be taken...at least at this point. Their reasoning behind wanting that many eggs released is to have more targets to hit. Talk like its a hunting game and Cooter suddenly becomes an investigator. He is beyond worried that I will get pregnant with a litter. His exact wording was..."How do we make sure that she's not going to be delivering babies in a box under the stairs?" LOL.
The meds I will be injecting can be adjusted as needed. I go back in on Wednesday and again on Friday for more ultrasounds and bloodwork. They will measure my follicles again to see the effects of the meds. Too much growth, or too many follicles being stimulated, and I will dial down the injection. I will have approximately 10 days of injections. At the end of that time, they will do one last ultrasound to see how many follicles they believe will release eggs. If it's more than 3-4, we stop there and wait until next month. I PRAY that does not happen. Not only do we have to find the patience within ourselves to keep waiting (its already been almost 15 months), but we start over financially too (not that money will make or break this deal, but its kind of a necessity to keep this operation going!).
I'm excited, anxious, nervous... We need your prayers again. We pray that this medication does the work my body needs. We pray for a healthy opportunity to be able to try for a baby. We pray for a successful try. We will know in less than a month if this worked or not. We pray for patience and understanding no matter what happens in the next 30 days.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Pampered Chef National Conference 2010...and some aha's in life...
Two posts in a month...WOW!
I don't know if it is my motivating return from Pampered Chef's National Conference or just changes in life finally settling in...but I suddenly felt a warm feeling inside me, feeling blessed with the people I have in my life right now, and proud of the way we are living life.
You saying hmmmmm yet?!? So I was sitting here this morning lurking on facebook, looking at old friend's photos, etc. instead of cleaning my bathroom. We're all guilty of such distractions...don't lie! I think most of us have a group of friends from our past that weren't always the best company for you. You may or may not still touch base with them from time to time. Maybe you partied a little too hard for a while, or found yourself living a whole new life with these people. Catching up with such friends or looking through pics lets you relive that life vicariously for a few minutes. Maybe you miss that old lifestyle, maybe you don't... I certainly don't. I am proud of the turns I have taken the past few years in life, so thankful for the people I have come to know, and the decisions I have made. The photos and the people will remain anonymous... My point is, I don't miss the life I HAD...I embrace the one I HAVE.
Off of my soapbox now... So, I just got back from Chicago! I absolutely loved it there...I was quite impressed! I had a wonderful opportunity to travel with my team to attend Pampered Chef's National Conference. This was a huge step for me. Traveling to a new city with people I hardly knew (minus Jen), but I am SO glad I went! I learned new ideas for cooking shows, strategies for working with customers, and wonderful ways to share the business with others. Most of all, I brought back self-confidence. I came home more motivated than ever and believing in myself. I watched fellow teammates and my executive director Jen walk across the stage in front of thousands of people for their accomplishments over the past year. I can't wait to be on that stage! When we made the decision for me to resign from teaching for a while, Pampered Chef became more than just something on the side. Its my full time job now...and I love it! I realized as well, that its not about the money either...although my latest WHY is to make the suburban payment every month (how cool would that be?!?). It is all about believing in myself. I don't know how, but I've been lucky enough to be recognized the last 3 team meetings for my sales accomplishments (which, in my opinion have not been great lately...). That's SO motivating though...and I can and WILL do better! =)
A great friend told me the other night...surround yourself with positive people and positive experiences. Life is all about being told NO and how you deal with it...but that just makes the YES soooo much better!
I don't know if it is my motivating return from Pampered Chef's National Conference or just changes in life finally settling in...but I suddenly felt a warm feeling inside me, feeling blessed with the people I have in my life right now, and proud of the way we are living life.
You saying hmmmmm yet?!? So I was sitting here this morning lurking on facebook, looking at old friend's photos, etc. instead of cleaning my bathroom. We're all guilty of such distractions...don't lie! I think most of us have a group of friends from our past that weren't always the best company for you. You may or may not still touch base with them from time to time. Maybe you partied a little too hard for a while, or found yourself living a whole new life with these people. Catching up with such friends or looking through pics lets you relive that life vicariously for a few minutes. Maybe you miss that old lifestyle, maybe you don't... I certainly don't. I am proud of the turns I have taken the past few years in life, so thankful for the people I have come to know, and the decisions I have made. The photos and the people will remain anonymous... My point is, I don't miss the life I HAD...I embrace the one I HAVE.
Off of my soapbox now... So, I just got back from Chicago! I absolutely loved it there...I was quite impressed! I had a wonderful opportunity to travel with my team to attend Pampered Chef's National Conference. This was a huge step for me. Traveling to a new city with people I hardly knew (minus Jen), but I am SO glad I went! I learned new ideas for cooking shows, strategies for working with customers, and wonderful ways to share the business with others. Most of all, I brought back self-confidence. I came home more motivated than ever and believing in myself. I watched fellow teammates and my executive director Jen walk across the stage in front of thousands of people for their accomplishments over the past year. I can't wait to be on that stage! When we made the decision for me to resign from teaching for a while, Pampered Chef became more than just something on the side. Its my full time job now...and I love it! I realized as well, that its not about the money either...although my latest WHY is to make the suburban payment every month (how cool would that be?!?). It is all about believing in myself. I don't know how, but I've been lucky enough to be recognized the last 3 team meetings for my sales accomplishments (which, in my opinion have not been great lately...). That's SO motivating though...and I can and WILL do better! =)
A great friend told me the other night...surround yourself with positive people and positive experiences. Life is all about being told NO and how you deal with it...but that just makes the YES soooo much better!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
busy life, belated updates...
So much to do, so little time to do it...
I am thoroughly enjoying my summer so far! It seems like I bounce from one project to the next and I will not be satisfied until they are all done. I made a list of projects this morning (including a much needed blog update) to focus my energy and give me something to cross off the list...there's just something fulfilling about being able to complete a task and mark it off your list! I'm a dork, but hey, whatever works, right? Ooooo just thought of another thing to add to the list while I'm sitting here. If my head would quit spinning long enough, maybe I'd actually finish something...LOL. Is it possible to nest while you're planning a pregnancy?!?
Lots of changes have happened in the last 3 months for our family. Last update, we were still grieving the loss of our 2nd baby. At that point, I was looking ahead to days of possible fertility treatments, but at the same time, really wasn't sure I was ready to face all those risks, thoughts, and fears in the face. About mid April we had our first consultation with the fertility doctor. We were warned going into treatments that most fertility doctors will not consider recurrent miscarriage until you have had three in a row. My OB left this choice up to us and provided a referral. During our first meeting, the doctor said one miscarriage is too many and that was music to our ears!
The process started with a massive 14 vile blood draw from me (called a miscarriage panel, to determine if there was anything lacking in my system that could have caused the loss of the babies) and one blood draw for Cooter (to determine if anything chromosomal in his blood work clashed with mine). Results from bloodwork took 3-5 weeks to get back...so began the process of waiting. Over the next month, we had bloodwork and ultrasounds done every week as they monitored my cycle. They tested everything imaginable, trying to be more proactive before we needed to be reactive. Throughout the month, everything looked picture perfect. My follicles were active and healthy, my uterine lining (where the baby would attach) continued to have a good thickness each week. Still searching for problems...
It brought on quite confusing reactions for us. We leave the office each week relieved that I'm reproductively healthy, but without the closure and answers we so desperately needed. On one hand, we don't want anything to be wrong with me, but at the same time, if something is wrong, and it is fixable, we are that much closer to having a baby of our own. Lots of prayers every day for guidance, acceptance, and understanding of what was going on and what could possibly be.
The week I should have been ovulating the doctor did a saline ultrasound. They inject a saline dye into your uterus to be able to see the release of the egg, which starts ovulation. Its really kind of neat to see everything on the ultrasound...we are now unusually familiar with the inside of my body! At that time, the doctor said he thought I might have already ovulated, which would mean I was getting pregnant on an egg that wasn't fully developed yet. Bloodwork would tell the answers...so I went off to work and waited. My kids at school got so used to me coming an hour late once a week with a cotton ball and band-aid stuck to my arm. That day, bloodwork showed unusually low levels of HCG (pregnancy hormone...all women have a surge of the HCG hormone when they release an egg each month...the hormone levels increasingly raise when you conceive). This indicated that opposite of what the doctor thought...I had NOT ovulated yet. I went in every 2 days for the next week while we waited for my egg to release.
It appears that I ovulate about a week late. What does that mean?!? Basically, the egg is ripe and perfect for fertilization about 12-14 days into a cycle. I wasn't releasing that egg until about day 21, which means the egg is post-mature. It is still able to be fertilized, but chances are very good that it will never grow and develop like it should. Answers...like pieces of a puzzle all coming together. Within that same week, we received the results of the massive blood draw from weeks earlier. All of my counts looked perfect, as did Cooter's. I showed a slight mutation for my body's ability to absorb folic acid, but I was also told that is very common even amongst mothers that have healthy babies. The result...everything is treatable!!!
We also found out during all of the ultrasounds that I have at least 6 active follicles. Follicles release your eggs. Usually they alternate sides each month. I have at least 3 per side. Its a good thing though, fertility wise. It means I have lots of options, I am full of eggs! LOL. That also means that we are at a higher risk of having twins...
We were given three options:
1. Try again...let nature take its course. Yes, there is a chance we could go on to have a healthy baby. When almost all fertility tests point to post ovulation as my issue, the chances of my cycle suddenly changing on its own are very slim.
2. Clomid. Clomid is a drug designed to tell your body to release an egg on time. It is a very common fertility drug and I hear lots of success stories. The doctor gave us about an 8% chance of the clomid working the first time (plus factor in our high fertility rate). It costs about $800 a cycle (insurance does not cover the drugs). The only negative side effect is that some clomid users experience a thinning in the uterine wall due to the medication. That reduces the baby's chance of sticking. My doctor said he was hesitant to prescribe Clomid to us due to the previous miscarriages, but its still an option.
3. Injections, More specifically, an injectable called Follistim, combined with Ovidrel to release my egg on time. I would give myself injections over a period of time until we were told to try. The doctor gave us a 30-40% chance of it working the first time (plus our fertility rate). It costs double, about $1600 a cycle. No negative side effects.
We chose injections.
With any fertility drugs, our risk of multiples goes up. We were at risk of having twins anyway... Since the medication tells your body when to release an egg (so that I will release on time), there is a risk of too many eggs being released. We cannot control how many follicles are stimulated, so if multiple eggs are released, we could get pregnant with more than one baby. My doctor will not send us down the road to having our own TLC show or anything. Before giving us the OK to try, they do an ultrasound to see how many eggs are being released. That doesn't necessarily mean they will all be fertilized, but you have to plan that way just in case. We will take two, but aren't willing to risk more than that!
We went home and starting weighing our options and when we wanted to start. Cooter was ready immediately. This was the end of May. I was seeing light at the end of the school year tunnel. I was in charge of the field trip, field day was coming up, awards ceremonies, and the last day of school. I just couldn't afford to be off work every two days to be monitored while on medication. Not when I knew I'd have all summer off in a matter of weeks. Cooter got upset with me for choosing work over family. Here was my take on the situation. All of you teachers will understand what a stressful time the end of the year is. You are very busy getting report cards ready, keeping the kids active and busy when you have no more textbooks, are running out of supplies and copies, and are trying to pack up your room for the summer...plus my daily drive through Houston. I said why add that stress to an already delicate situation when we can wait a month and remove those risk factors? So we settled on starting injections in June.
One thing I wanted to do before I was pregnant, was float the river one more time. If you're from Texas, you know you can't beat a cold river on a sweltering hot day. I wanted to be able to have carefree fun without thinking ahead. Next summer, god willing, we will have a tiny infant and for years to come vacations will never be the same...fun and special in their own way, but definitely not the same. We'll either have kids in tow, or will be having to make plans for them to stay somewhere while we were gone. This was our last hoorah. And boy it was! I don't think I have ever had so much fun camping. We have become unbelievable close with our neighbors and we are so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Blogger has outsmarted me and the imac today, so I will have to post pics from the trip at another time. Sorry!
One thing life has taught us recently, or forced us to learn...is patience. Trying, pregnancy, fertility tests and treatments, all come with lots and lots of waiting for the right time. We were really hoping to start injections late June this month. It all depended on my cycle starting. Unfortunately, due to our busy July, we had a small window to have all of this work so we could still do treatments, go on vacation with Cooter's family and still send me to Chicago for Pampered Chef's national conference. As luck would have it, our window came and went. Stressing about it didn't help much either... Following a D&C, cycles can and will be off schedule for a while. Sure is frustrating though! So, although all of the medication was delivered last week and its quietly waiting in my fridge, we made the decision to wait until my next cycle to start injections now. There is just too much going on, too much planned and paid for to miss out on over the next two weeks. During the 2 weeks I am on injections, I am relatively home-bound. I need them daily, they must be kept cold and I will be doing follow-up bloodwork and ultrasounds every 2-3 days during the process, so traveling is really out of the question then. It makes me really sad to have to keep waiting, but its been 14 months since we first got pregnant, so at this point one more month won't break us.
A major decision we recently made was for me to resign from my job teaching. I am still in shock of the whole situation. When I was due in September, we had plans for me to stay home with the baby...especially considering that I could no longer wake up at 3:45am, drive 80 miles a day and take care of a baby simultaneously...nor would anyone hire me for a teaching job knowing I wouldn't be able to teach the first part of the school year. As of right now, if injections work on the first round, we wouldn't be due until May. I hate the idea of living on one income. Its already stressing me out, and I still receive paychecks through August. I like our comfortable living situation. The decision was made so I could focus on the health of myself and the pregnancy when we get down that road again. I'm high risk due to the miscarriages anyway, but if we were to add multiples to that, working wouldn't really be an option anyway. I am just going to do my Pampered Chef full time now. Which means I need to schedule some shows!!! Cooking shows allow me to work from home and I do a handful of shows a month. Its going to remove me from the stress of teaching a TAKS grade, sitting in traffic daily, and will allow me to focus on growing a baby (or babies). It is a new and scary road to me, but we can make it work...
I am thoroughly enjoying my summer so far! It seems like I bounce from one project to the next and I will not be satisfied until they are all done. I made a list of projects this morning (including a much needed blog update) to focus my energy and give me something to cross off the list...there's just something fulfilling about being able to complete a task and mark it off your list! I'm a dork, but hey, whatever works, right? Ooooo just thought of another thing to add to the list while I'm sitting here. If my head would quit spinning long enough, maybe I'd actually finish something...LOL. Is it possible to nest while you're planning a pregnancy?!?
Lots of changes have happened in the last 3 months for our family. Last update, we were still grieving the loss of our 2nd baby. At that point, I was looking ahead to days of possible fertility treatments, but at the same time, really wasn't sure I was ready to face all those risks, thoughts, and fears in the face. About mid April we had our first consultation with the fertility doctor. We were warned going into treatments that most fertility doctors will not consider recurrent miscarriage until you have had three in a row. My OB left this choice up to us and provided a referral. During our first meeting, the doctor said one miscarriage is too many and that was music to our ears!
The process started with a massive 14 vile blood draw from me (called a miscarriage panel, to determine if there was anything lacking in my system that could have caused the loss of the babies) and one blood draw for Cooter (to determine if anything chromosomal in his blood work clashed with mine). Results from bloodwork took 3-5 weeks to get back...so began the process of waiting. Over the next month, we had bloodwork and ultrasounds done every week as they monitored my cycle. They tested everything imaginable, trying to be more proactive before we needed to be reactive. Throughout the month, everything looked picture perfect. My follicles were active and healthy, my uterine lining (where the baby would attach) continued to have a good thickness each week. Still searching for problems...
It brought on quite confusing reactions for us. We leave the office each week relieved that I'm reproductively healthy, but without the closure and answers we so desperately needed. On one hand, we don't want anything to be wrong with me, but at the same time, if something is wrong, and it is fixable, we are that much closer to having a baby of our own. Lots of prayers every day for guidance, acceptance, and understanding of what was going on and what could possibly be.
The week I should have been ovulating the doctor did a saline ultrasound. They inject a saline dye into your uterus to be able to see the release of the egg, which starts ovulation. Its really kind of neat to see everything on the ultrasound...we are now unusually familiar with the inside of my body! At that time, the doctor said he thought I might have already ovulated, which would mean I was getting pregnant on an egg that wasn't fully developed yet. Bloodwork would tell the answers...so I went off to work and waited. My kids at school got so used to me coming an hour late once a week with a cotton ball and band-aid stuck to my arm. That day, bloodwork showed unusually low levels of HCG (pregnancy hormone...all women have a surge of the HCG hormone when they release an egg each month...the hormone levels increasingly raise when you conceive). This indicated that opposite of what the doctor thought...I had NOT ovulated yet. I went in every 2 days for the next week while we waited for my egg to release.
It appears that I ovulate about a week late. What does that mean?!? Basically, the egg is ripe and perfect for fertilization about 12-14 days into a cycle. I wasn't releasing that egg until about day 21, which means the egg is post-mature. It is still able to be fertilized, but chances are very good that it will never grow and develop like it should. Answers...like pieces of a puzzle all coming together. Within that same week, we received the results of the massive blood draw from weeks earlier. All of my counts looked perfect, as did Cooter's. I showed a slight mutation for my body's ability to absorb folic acid, but I was also told that is very common even amongst mothers that have healthy babies. The result...everything is treatable!!!
We also found out during all of the ultrasounds that I have at least 6 active follicles. Follicles release your eggs. Usually they alternate sides each month. I have at least 3 per side. Its a good thing though, fertility wise. It means I have lots of options, I am full of eggs! LOL. That also means that we are at a higher risk of having twins...
We were given three options:
1. Try again...let nature take its course. Yes, there is a chance we could go on to have a healthy baby. When almost all fertility tests point to post ovulation as my issue, the chances of my cycle suddenly changing on its own are very slim.
2. Clomid. Clomid is a drug designed to tell your body to release an egg on time. It is a very common fertility drug and I hear lots of success stories. The doctor gave us about an 8% chance of the clomid working the first time (plus factor in our high fertility rate). It costs about $800 a cycle (insurance does not cover the drugs). The only negative side effect is that some clomid users experience a thinning in the uterine wall due to the medication. That reduces the baby's chance of sticking. My doctor said he was hesitant to prescribe Clomid to us due to the previous miscarriages, but its still an option.
3. Injections, More specifically, an injectable called Follistim, combined with Ovidrel to release my egg on time. I would give myself injections over a period of time until we were told to try. The doctor gave us a 30-40% chance of it working the first time (plus our fertility rate). It costs double, about $1600 a cycle. No negative side effects.
We chose injections.
With any fertility drugs, our risk of multiples goes up. We were at risk of having twins anyway... Since the medication tells your body when to release an egg (so that I will release on time), there is a risk of too many eggs being released. We cannot control how many follicles are stimulated, so if multiple eggs are released, we could get pregnant with more than one baby. My doctor will not send us down the road to having our own TLC show or anything. Before giving us the OK to try, they do an ultrasound to see how many eggs are being released. That doesn't necessarily mean they will all be fertilized, but you have to plan that way just in case. We will take two, but aren't willing to risk more than that!
We went home and starting weighing our options and when we wanted to start. Cooter was ready immediately. This was the end of May. I was seeing light at the end of the school year tunnel. I was in charge of the field trip, field day was coming up, awards ceremonies, and the last day of school. I just couldn't afford to be off work every two days to be monitored while on medication. Not when I knew I'd have all summer off in a matter of weeks. Cooter got upset with me for choosing work over family. Here was my take on the situation. All of you teachers will understand what a stressful time the end of the year is. You are very busy getting report cards ready, keeping the kids active and busy when you have no more textbooks, are running out of supplies and copies, and are trying to pack up your room for the summer...plus my daily drive through Houston. I said why add that stress to an already delicate situation when we can wait a month and remove those risk factors? So we settled on starting injections in June.
One thing I wanted to do before I was pregnant, was float the river one more time. If you're from Texas, you know you can't beat a cold river on a sweltering hot day. I wanted to be able to have carefree fun without thinking ahead. Next summer, god willing, we will have a tiny infant and for years to come vacations will never be the same...fun and special in their own way, but definitely not the same. We'll either have kids in tow, or will be having to make plans for them to stay somewhere while we were gone. This was our last hoorah. And boy it was! I don't think I have ever had so much fun camping. We have become unbelievable close with our neighbors and we are so blessed to have such wonderful friends. Blogger has outsmarted me and the imac today, so I will have to post pics from the trip at another time. Sorry!
One thing life has taught us recently, or forced us to learn...is patience. Trying, pregnancy, fertility tests and treatments, all come with lots and lots of waiting for the right time. We were really hoping to start injections late June this month. It all depended on my cycle starting. Unfortunately, due to our busy July, we had a small window to have all of this work so we could still do treatments, go on vacation with Cooter's family and still send me to Chicago for Pampered Chef's national conference. As luck would have it, our window came and went. Stressing about it didn't help much either... Following a D&C, cycles can and will be off schedule for a while. Sure is frustrating though! So, although all of the medication was delivered last week and its quietly waiting in my fridge, we made the decision to wait until my next cycle to start injections now. There is just too much going on, too much planned and paid for to miss out on over the next two weeks. During the 2 weeks I am on injections, I am relatively home-bound. I need them daily, they must be kept cold and I will be doing follow-up bloodwork and ultrasounds every 2-3 days during the process, so traveling is really out of the question then. It makes me really sad to have to keep waiting, but its been 14 months since we first got pregnant, so at this point one more month won't break us.
A major decision we recently made was for me to resign from my job teaching. I am still in shock of the whole situation. When I was due in September, we had plans for me to stay home with the baby...especially considering that I could no longer wake up at 3:45am, drive 80 miles a day and take care of a baby simultaneously...nor would anyone hire me for a teaching job knowing I wouldn't be able to teach the first part of the school year. As of right now, if injections work on the first round, we wouldn't be due until May. I hate the idea of living on one income. Its already stressing me out, and I still receive paychecks through August. I like our comfortable living situation. The decision was made so I could focus on the health of myself and the pregnancy when we get down that road again. I'm high risk due to the miscarriages anyway, but if we were to add multiples to that, working wouldn't really be an option anyway. I am just going to do my Pampered Chef full time now. Which means I need to schedule some shows!!! Cooking shows allow me to work from home and I do a handful of shows a month. Its going to remove me from the stress of teaching a TAKS grade, sitting in traffic daily, and will allow me to focus on growing a baby (or babies). It is a new and scary road to me, but we can make it work...
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