thinking POSITIVE

So we graced the doctor's office with our presence at 8am this past Friday morning for the much awaited pregnancy blood test. The first thing the nurse asked me was if I had taken a home pregnancy test yet. I told her I was too scared. I was also worried it was too early, seeing as I would not be due to start another cycle for a week or so. Blood drawn, we left the office, another cotton ball and band-aid accessorizing my outfit. We would receive a phone call with results as soon as possible. Oh how slow time can move!

Cooter began pacing WAY too much for my anxiety level when we got home, so he went off to work to pretend to be busy and hopefully pass the time. He told me before he went to work that if I wasn't pregnant, he was going to be really mad at his swimmers. I had to laugh a little. Most men don't hold anger against their sperm. In my attempt to stay busy I folded 3 loads of laundry, changed sheets on my bed, washed and cut up a week's worth of fruit, boiled and peeled 15 eggs (I was making deviled eggs for a meeting that night), and managed to catch up on Grey's Anatomy from the night before. Its amazing how productive you can be when you have time to kill! In the midst of my cleaning and cooking spree, I decided to go pee on the one stick left in the medicine cabinet. At this point, I had been awake for almost 4 hours and had already downed several bottles of water. I coached myself to not feel disappointment if it was negative. It wasn't the perfect circumstance to be taking a test, and I reminded myself that it was still quite early. We were already mentally preparing ourselves to deal with that anyway. The test at first glance looked negative, but in the light I noticed a faint cross line. That just brought on more confusion than anything. Suddenly it felt like they would never call with my results. I argued with myself...if there is even the faintest of a line, that means your body is still producing enough hcg to cause the test to react, right? Then I was convinced I was seeing things. I wanted to see it so badly that I was beginning to imagine tiny blue lines. So I did the next best thing...I took a picture with my phone and sent it to Cooter for further examination. His immediate response was that it looked positive to me. I still didn't want false hope. At that point I was actually frustrated that I even took the test in the first place. The aftermath of it all makes me laugh now.

Finally at 10:45 (I was pretty sure those 2 hours and 45 minutes were close to being an eternity), the nurse called. The first words out of her mouth were, "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" My blood test was positive!!! I have no idea how far along I am. Calculating an estimated due date the old fashioned way versus my dates with the meds gives me a week or so difference. For now, I return every 2-3 days for blood work to make sure my levels are rising properly.

I went back today and when my nurse called with results, she was very happy. She said everything looks great so far. I will not have any ultrasounds for a couple of weeks because its just too early to see anything yet. My hcg levels should be doubling every 30-48 hours. On Friday, it was 46...today it was 280!!! That puts me somewhere around 4-5 weeks preggo. I go back Wednesday and probably Friday for the same blood work.

To all of my prayer warriors...keep those prayers coming! You all have supported us this far, now we just need this baby to grow, grow, grow! I don't think my nerves will ever be completely calmed. I still haven't let it completely sink in that I'm pregnant. My brain is protecting my heart. I think its understandable though. One day at a time, one prayer at a time...and lord willing, this baby will be in our arms sometime around June!